These steps can be used for every day agreements to important agreements such as property and financial agreements, although these will not be legally binding unless prepared by a lawyer.
Some clients who have sought advice from lawyers and have chosen not to go down that path due to increased stress and cost, have found a win-win solution by working through the steps below.
If you need a legally binding agreement, having clarity before seeing a lawyer will take some of the stress away.
Step 1 – Rapid Stress Relief
If you have relationship stress around making an agreement, Valee can help you to rapidly bring down your stress levels. The stress emotions are fear and anger. Other emotions such as guilt can also be rapidly cleared with another simple technique. It is very difficult to think clearly and constructively when there is stress or emotional turmoil around making an agreement.
With this support you will be able to integrate rapid stress and emotional relief techniques in to your relationship.
Step 2 – Clarity
Once step one has been achieved, Valee can assist you to become clear about the content for the relationship agreement before putting it in writing.
Step 3 – Agreement Negotiation
Once both partners have clarity for the agreement, this is the time to receive joint coaching. Valee will support you whilst sharing what it is that you want in the agreement and guide you through the negotiation. She has a very safe method that supports both partners to move towards each other and to seek a win-win solution.
Step 4 – The Agreement
The next step is to prepare the written agreement, to check that both parties are happy with it and that nothing, at this point in time, has been omitted. Once this has been achieved, both sign the agreement with a witness.
About Relationship Agreements
Relationship agreements do not have to be set in stone and be rigid. They can be malleable and fluid through negotiation, even if you have already made an agreement. When you make an agreement, even though you may think that you have all the facts and clarity, over time new aspects may come up or you may not have thought about everything in the first place. This can be especially true for people who are kinaesthetic and take time to put their feelings into words.
Whenever you make an agreement, allow an amount of time to adjust/renegotiate the agreement, and then allow another period of time to assess how the agreement is working. Set in place intervals where the agreement is reassessed.
This is an excellent and effective way to negotiate your way through minor and major relationship agreements.
I love to answer any questions you may have or reply to any comments, so please post them below.
“We are truly enjoying our new home and the fruits of our agreement after some years of unclarity.
This agreement process is an effective and valuable one. Given the one-sided legal system, I totally recommend seeking help from a professional coach like Valee who cares about the emotional and spiritual well-being of the individual and the couple’s relationship.
I particularly loved Valee’s guidance through grief, anger and fear.
With gratitude and excitement for you and the couples you’re working with! Brigitte
The main work for the relationship agreement was done individually — on trauma and stress prior to creating the agreement. In this, I feel you assisted me greatly and in the end you witnessed our document…a wonderful moment. DT