A very warm welcome to Happy Couples Life Skills.
Whether you have just fallen in love or have been together for years here are some of the most important tips you can apply to your relationship. It doesn’t matter whether you have just fallen in love or have been together for years, these tips will apply for a lifetime. This on-line relationship advice can also help in reducing conflict and seeing issues in a different light.
Remember When you Fell in Love
Can you remember when you fell in love? How did it feel? What brought you together? What were your compatibilities? How did you perceive your partner?
When you remember when you fell in love and keep the feeling inside you boost your relationship. When things get tough, remembering back to the beginning of your togetherness brings you back to the love in your heart. It will remind you of the dreams you had and the desire to have a happy fulfilling relationship.
Continuing to remember when you fell in love throughout your relationship will have a positive wholesome effect and will help to maintain your connection especially when issues inevitably come up. It will also give you the desire to listen to each other’s point of view and help your communication to be more effective. Therefore, these memories will help to reduce any conflict as you remember your partner in a different light.
The easiest way to remember when you fell in love is to create my relationship keepsake
Connect by Regularly Appreciating Each Other
Unfortunately, we live in a society where the majority of people are programmed to look at what’s wrong rather than what’s right. This tips the scales towards creating a negative outlook not only on life, but also on their intimate relationship. Because of this appreciation is rarely expressed.
Connection is the most important aspect of your relationship and the simplest way to connect is through appreciating each other, not only for the big things but also for the small things, on a daily basis. Your connection is the key to your level of sexual passion and intimacy, and the desire to know each other’s inner world. Without it, your whole relationship will suffer and effective communication will be near impossible.
There is a very simple heart felt appreciation exercise that couples can learn that will not only strengthen their connection or reconnect each other, but will also assist in developing excellent communication skills. This is part of my Happy Couples Life Skills Program.
A very simple way to start appreciating each other today is to begin our heart appreciation journal.
Know Each Other’s Love language and Act on it
Knowing each other’s primary love language and regularly acting on it can create the happiness in your relationship that your heart desires.
Your primary love language is how you experience love and, although there are five love languages according to Dr Gary Chapman, (service, gifts, touch, words of appreciation and quality time) the way your experience love is very individual. For instance, if I asked 20 people in a room to explain what love meant to them it is unlikely that any two people’s experience of love is the same.
More than that, most people find it difficult to convey what love actually means and there is a general unspoken agreement or expectation that partners should know what each other wants and likes in the way of love. It seems a bit naive for partners to expect each other to know this when the majority of people can’t explain what their desire for love is in the way of actions. Most people relate to love as a feeling, but there is something that has happened to create the feeling in the very first place. Here is an example:
My primary love language is quality time. What that means to me in terms of actions is that my partner takes time to sit with me, is present – meaning he looks me in the eye and listens to me intently and that the conversation is meaningful, e.g. talking about something I love; not daily routine unless we need to discuss something important. When I experience this I feel deeply connected with an open-heart and centered inside; any stress evaporates and I come into the feeling of being loved. When we both share at this level we learn about each other’s internal world and our love tanks fill up. Because quality time is the number one love language for me my emotional love tank will fill up more. Discover your primary love language.
Fill Each Other’s Emotional Love Tank
Whenever you appreciate each other and help fulfill each other’s primary love language be fulfilled you deposit love into each other’s emotional love tank.
Keeping an eye on how full each other’s emotional love tank is a great way to gauge where your relationship is at. If it is low, doing the tips above will start filling each other’s love tank. By filling it up you strengthen your connection and your relationship will become happier and stable.
It is wise to bear in mind that research shows any form of negative behaviour towards a partner withdraws from the emotional love tank and that 5 positive things have to be done to overcome the damage!
My emotional love tank is currently ____/10
More Happiness can be Just this Simple!
- Close your eyes and remember when you fell in love; remember how you felt, what you did; what you thought of your spouse or partner and notice how remembering makes you feel now. Create a relationship keep sake that you will cherish.
- Appreciate your partner and thank your partner for something he or she has done for you or your children today? Appreciate your partner on a daily basis for even the little things.
- Discover each other’s love language and learn how to act on it several times a week
- Fill each other’s emotional love tank and keep a regular eye on it
I always appreciate your comments and questions
Much blessings on your relationship