Couples Life Skills Program Overview

Discover the Life Skills for a Happy, Loving, Lasting Relationship

  It will possibly be the most rewarding journey that you will ever experience!

The Happy Couples Life Skills Coaching Programs have been set up to help rewire your brain so that you look at your relationship from a balanced perspective and focus on the good, and what you want to create. Research shows that happy couples focus more on the positive and have the skills necessary to navigate the issues that inevitably come up.


The programs are a step-by-step journey where you learn about yourself and each other.  They take you on a deep exploration that covers: your love language, needs, values, childhood and adult dreams, compatibilities, differences, relationship patterns and triggers; how to deeply connect; communicate, understand and easily resolve issues.  You discover the unconscious expectations within your relationship that cause difficulties and ultimately you draw a joint vision showing all of your needs, compatibilities, differences, values unfulfilled areas of life and your dreams.  This picture gives you an overview of your relationship: the things that you both enjoy and would like to create together, your differences and the things that you need to work on.

You may work through the programs one step at a time, moving on to the next step when you feel ready.  Alternatively, you can choose to receive coaching sessions based on what you wish to address.


Program 1 gives you the tools to rapidly move through stress (please see Rapid De-Stress Sessions) and uncomfortable emotions usually within minutes (please see Rapid Emotional Stress Relief Sessions) that trigger conflict and will help heal your heart.  However, if there is a low level of stress or conflict in your relationship, and you have a great connection you may like to start with program 2 or choose some of the steps from program 1 first.

Ultimately, you will develop the skills that will create the relationship that your heart truly desires which will have a knock-on effect in all areas of your life, including your children and generations to come. 



Program 1 focuses on rapidly clearing underlying stress in your relationship, building bridges to deepening  your connection, simple effective communication, making agreements, learning about each other’s most important needs and moving towards each other to fufill these needs, understanding your relationship patterns and those that are presenting themselves in your relationship and moving through the journey of relationship challenges.  This is preparation for the second program where you focus on creating your dream relationship together.

Step 1 – Explore and Understand Your Relationship

The workbook for Step 1 is FREE: go to the top of this page to request it

  • Understand where we are in our relationship
  • Know what stage we are at
  • Recognise the positive aspects


  • The 5 stages of relationship
  • Relationship questionnaire


  • You will know what stage of relationship you are in
  • You will have an overview of your relationship
  • You will see the good in your relationship
  • You will be aware that unmet needs underlie disagreements and conflict


Step 2 – Learn how to Rapidly Clear Relationship Stress

(Please see Rapid De-Stress Sessions and Rapid Emotional Stress Relief Sessions)

  • Learn how to rapidly clear the fight/flight adrenal response
  • Learn how to rapidly clear emotional chemicals from your body


  • Active visualisation for clearing anger
  • Active visualisation for clearing anxiety or fear
  • Body process for clearing emotional chemicals
  • Understand Facts vs Stories
  • Reflective Thinking Exercise
  • Intention Exercise


  • Recognise when you are having an adrenal response
  • Understand the process from an adrenal response to an emotional response
  • Rapidly clear relationship stress and emotions
  • Awareness of your emotional world
  • Make new choices


Step 3 – Build Bridges

  • Reconnect your heart
  • Rebuild trust
  • Discover your emotional love tank


  • Remember when you fell in love and what you really want in your relationship
  • Create your relationship keepsake
  • Open hearted appreciation – 2 simple communication tools
  • Understand and deposit into your love tank


  • Listen effectively
  • The need to be heard and recognised is met
  • Feel closer and more connected
  • Feel more loving and trusting
  • See each other in a more positive light
  • Improved self-esteem
  • Increased importance of your relationship


Step 4 – Deepen our Connection

  • Discover each other’s primary love language
  • Know what the actions are
  • Learn how to communicate authentically and make a request
  • Make a commitment to support each other’s primary love language
  • The importance of agreements


  • Primary love language knowledge and exercise
  • Deep listening communication agreement
  • Effectively share your primary love language
  • How to make a request and move towards each other


  • You will know how to help each other get your love needs met
  • You will be able to authentically communicate and make requests
  • You both will feel more love
  • Defenses and disagreements will lessen
  • The small issues will start to evaporate


Step 5 – Discover Our Relationship Patterns

  • Discover the positive and negative themes in your past relationships that are occurring in your current relationship
  • Understand the importance of your needs being met
  • Discover your other top needs


  • Discover my relationship patterns exercise
  • Maslow and basic needs
  • Introductory list of basic needs


  • You will recognise the patterns in your current relationship that are part of your unconscious blueprint.
  • You will identify and focus on the positive themes in your relationship
  • You will be able to identify unmet needs that underlie negative themes in your relationship.
  • You will authentically communicate and move towards each other to help get your important needs met.
  • You will be able to apply the rapid stress relief processes when your needs are not met
  • You will be able move through arguments quicker and reconnect


Step 6 – The Journey Through Relationship Challenges


  • Understand boundaries and your values
  • Recognise your protective behaviour that creates conflict
  • Identify emotions, beliefs, expectations, fears, boundaries, and triggers underlying protective behaviour
  • Recognise what you need and want instead


  • Let go of what you cannot change
  • Change your thoughts
  • Share a boundary and make a request
  • Look for a win – win solution


  • Disidentification exercise
  • Boundary awareness
  • Protective behaviour exercise
  • Exercise to let go of what you cannot change
  • Ground rules for setting boundaries
  • Set a boundary – first make a request
  • Move towards your spouse/partner
  • Start to Let go of a Protective Behaviour


  • You will recognise when each other is triggered and in protection mode
  • You will know your own defensive behaviour
  • You will see that your spouse or partner’s triggers are not about you
  • You will be able to identify the underlying unmet need/s
  • You will be able to diffuse the emotion behind the trigger using the emotional clearing tools
  • You will gain a deep understanding of each other’s protective behaviour and develop empathy for each other when triggered
  • You will move through and resolve conflict and issues quickly
  • You will see conflict and challenges as a doorway to inner growth and deeper connection
  • Ultimately, you will help to heal each other’s wounds and broken heart

Complete this program by re-evaluating your relationship and looking at the next step.


Always a pleasure to answer your questions.

Much blessings, Valee



Step 7 – My Life Exploration

  • My Life Exploration from childhood through to adulthood
  • The Ideals for my perfect life
  • The Areas of my life that are most Important to me now
  • What I would like for my Future – be, do, have
  • A deeper look at my needs
  • Are my top needs being fulfilled?
  • How can my top needs be fulfilled?
  • Identify my non-negotiable needs
  • Identify my expectations for my ideal life

Step 8 – Our Affinity

  • The Things we have in Common and Love Sharing Together
  • Create special time together
  • Highlight the different areas
  • Appreciate our differences
  • Clear Conflicted Areas
  • Brainstorm Non-Fulfilled Areas

Step 9 – Create a Vision for Our Relationship  

  • What are intrinsic values?
  • What I most value
  • Bring it all Together – Shared Vision Preparation
  • Our Shared Vision
  • My Ideal Relationship Visualisation
  • My Ideal Day with my Beloved
  • Where we want to be in 3 months, 9 months, 18 months and 5 years’ time
  • Your Next Step – Fine Tuning

I love to answer any questions you may have or reply to any comments, so please post them below.




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